Becoming a Better Leader

A Commentary on the book What Got you Here, Won't Get you There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful by Marshall Goldsmith

By TransforMED Executive Director Marly McMillen, MBA

Who are you happier to see at the end of a stressful day, your dog or your spouse? Answers to questions like these might be a big indicator about your leadership style says author Marshall Goldsmith who has written a book called, What Got You Here, Won't Get You There: How Successful People Become Even More Successful.

He quotes Peter Drucker as once saying, "We spend a lot of time teaching leaders what to do. We don't spend enough time teaching leaders what to stop. Half the leaders I have met don't need to learn what to do. They need to learn what to stop." Goldsmith's book focuses on 20 habits that can hold successful people back. And the fact that you are successful is all the more reason you need help. You've already demonstrated your technical skill and aptitude for getting ahead. Your life is demonstrated proof of that. But what do you need to stop?

Most organizations are set up to recognize people for the things we do. There's not a lot of credit given for people who stop doing bad things. It really comes down to this — most successful people believe they got where they are because of their skill. They decide what they've done in the past must be what's keeping them where they are now. If it's not broke, why fix it? The real question you should ask yourself is, how will you know if it's broken? You can take your car to a mechanic, but how can you evaluate the weaknesses in your leadership skills?

Mr. Goldsmith urges us to look at 20 interpersonal behaviors to determine how effective we are as a leader. Interpersonal behaviors are the kinds of things that sound easy, but are really difficult when it comes down to it. I once read a quote by a former president of Ford Motor Company that he never saw a rising star employee's career fail because they weren't smart enough, but because they couldn't get along with people.

What might you be doing wrong?
The 20 behavioral habits in Mr. Goldsmith's book are:

1. Winning too much: The need to win at all costs and in all situations – when it matters, when it doesn't, and when it's totally beside the point.
2. Adding too much value: the overwhelming desire to add our two cents to every discussion.
3. Passing judgment: the need to rate others and impose our standards on them.
4. Making destructive comments: the needless sarcasms and cutting remarks that we think make us sound sharp and witty.
5. Starting with "No," "But," or "However": The overuse of these negative qualifiers which secretly say to everyone, "I'm right. You're wrong."
6. Telling the world how smart we are: the need to show people we're smarter than they think we are.
7. Speaking when angry: Using emotional volatility as a management tool.
8. Negativity, or "Let me explain why that won't work": The need to share our negative thoughts even when we weren't asked
9. Withholding information: The refusal to share information in order to maintain an advantage over others.
10. Failing to give proper recognition: The inability to praise and reward.
11. Claiming credit that we don't deserve: The most annoying way to overestimate our contribution to any success.
12. Making excuses: the need to reposition our annoying behavior as a permanent fixture so people excuse us for it.
13. Clinging to the past: The need to deflect blame away from ourselves and onto events and people from our past; a subset of blaming everyone else.
14. Playing favorites: Failing to see that we are treating someone unfairly.
15. Refusing to express regret: The inability to take responsibility for our actions, admit we're wrong, or recognize how our actions affect others.
16. Not listening: The most passive-aggressive form of disrespect for colleagues.
17. Failing to express gratitude: the most basic form of bad manners.
18. Punishing the messenger: the misguided need to attack the innocent who are usually only trying to help us.
19. Passing the buck: the need to blame everyone but ourselves.
20. An excessive need to be "me": Exalting our faults as virtues simply because they're who we are.

Most people won't have problems in each of these 20 areas, but you should identify at least one or two where you might fall short. Behavioral skills are important for your future success. Mr. Goldsmith encourages his readers to think of it this way, if you had two candidates in front of you and one was technically superb but very poor at working with people and the other was moderately skilled but excellent with people, who would you select?

The thing is you have to give an honest approach to how you look at the habits above. You may think to yourself, for example, that you don't play favorites (otherwise referred to as kissing up to the boss). And this is where we get to the lead-in question for this article. Who do you welcome more at the end of the day, your dog or your spouse? If it's your dog, you may need to ask yourself if it's because you like the constant affirming behavior your dog gives you, unlike the spouse who may be pointing out things that need to be changed. Your dog is basically, well, a kiss-up. It may be a wake-up call that you do in fact, play favorites! Look at these 20 habits closely; take the time to learn what you can STOP doing in order to become a better leader. Below is information on how to order Mr. Goldsmith's book if you're interested in a more in-depth look at how to make improvements in your leadership style.

Order the book at Amazon.com